Some thoughts on Self-harm, Animals and Bruises
It always amazed me how people just don’t see abuse or self-harm. It’s not that they are ignoring it, it just completely escapes their notice. I’ve never had to explain a bruise or hide a cut, because no one ever noticed them. I think that the fact that I refused to cover them up made people assume they meant nothing. Even my boyfriend, who has seen in various stages of undress for the past 2 years, has never noticed the scars unless I pointed them out. He was horrified when I did, and apologized for never noticing. I don’t blame him. People are naturally blind to what they can’t handle.
And it’s not just me. When I meet new people, I sometimes notice the scars on their arms, and when I speak about it with our mutual friends, they are shocked speechless because truly, they never saw it. What I mean is that if you haven’t been through abuse or self-harm, it is hard to notice even the most obvious signals in other people.
Except for animals, that is. I don’t know if it is some feral sense humans have lost over time, or if its just me, but animals always seem to notice when I am in distress. My rabbit always licks my wrists, almost as if she is trying to heal the scars herself. I never taught her this, but whenever I feel the urge, she hops on my lap and starts caring. Its a wonderful way to feel alive and needed. Another example is the fact that whenever I have been or have harmed myself, dogs and cats alike seem drawn to me. They don’t know what’s going on, but they can get frantic if I don’t pat them back.
I’m feeling better nowadays, and am mostly free from the choke hold of depression. But that doesn’t mean I don’t see these same things happen with other people.
Sorry for the long rant, sometimes these thoughts just need to get out of my head. :D